Treelife Coaching

discipline ain't easy

Falling off the wagon…back on the wagon — I often get confused with this expression that I most often hear used in conjunction with the consumption of alcohol.  When I hear “wagon” I always picture taking a hayride.  I know, I know — the ones who have fallen off the wagon are the ones who are derailed from their discipline, whatever it is.  But, aren’t the ones on the wagon the friends in flannel shirts snuggled up on haystacks sipping something spiked?  Being on the wagon sounds like so much more fun.

Speaking of wagon, how is your 30-day challenge going?  The grapevine tells me the gyms are packed.  The bank seemed busy today — no doubt folks are dutifully opening savings accounts and getting their finances in order as they promised on Jan. 1.  And, I can imagine The Container Store has a run on… just about everything.  Has your chosen 30-day action started to feel like a habit yet?

I do a 30-day challenge often, and I use it in two ways.  The first way is getting back on the wagon with something that used to be a habit.  It’s helped me kick-start good general upkeep kinds of tasks — like making my bed in the morning or drinking enough water — that have fallen out of my daily life for one reason or another.  The 30-day rule plays a welcomed trick on my brain because I’m not telling myself, “I’ll do this forever.”  I’m just saying, “I’ll do it for 30 days.  Then I can quit if I want to.” In the meantime, my action is slowly becoming habitual, and continuing after 30 days is much, much easier than starting on day 1.  Which is to say, if you started a 30-day challenge on January 1st, you’ve already done the hard part.

I also think it’s fun to use the 30-day challenge for something I want to try on for awhile, but not necessarily adopt.  When used that way, I get a real taste of something to see if it’s right for my life before I make a longer commitment.  For example, maybe I want to try being a vegetarian or getting up an hour earlier in the morning or keeping a journal.  30 days in a row allows me to truly test whatever it is, and notice the impact it has on my life, judgment-free. There’s no voice that says, “you should be a vegetarian.”  Rather, it feels more like a game — and it raises my awareness around what’s best for me.  What am I noticing?  Do I like this?  How is it affecting me and my life?

As much as I wholeheartedly believe in the power of setting intentions, I don’t want to make empty promises.  With many things, there is a fine  line.  Sometimes a bit of simple structure like making a check-mark in my dayplanner for 30 days to track a newly-forming habit helps me make my intentions real versus them being just a nice idea.  Tracking success — even with the smallest of tasks — is a great motivator.

For those of you who are 14 days in, congratulations!  I’m reminded of a favorite quote from one of my clients who, when asked how she was progressing on a difficult goal, said,  “I’m almost at the 50-yard-line…but I’m not tired.” Discipline is a tricky thing…and can be so rewarding. For those of you who missed January 1st or have fallen off the wagon — I challenge you to start a new 30-day habit tomorrow.  After all, every day is the 1st day of the rest of our lives.

are you ready?

In the last week or so, I’ve interacted with numerous individuals who claim they “don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions.”  Care to set yourself up for failure? they say.  Starting something new for the New Year is so cliche, they say.  Resolutions are bullshit, they say.  Well, I say, thank you for igniting my sense of rebellion!

Okay, okay, I see what they mean, these resolution grinches.  “Resolutions” — spontaneously deciding you’ll do something habitually or behave in a different way forevermore — can be total BS…particularly when they aren’t rooted in a deeper understanding of ourselves, or when we don’t take measures to actually hold ourselves accountable for the changes we’d like to make.  Point taken.  Seemingly arbitrary goals such as, “I’m gonna try to eat healthier in 2010″ or “Maybe I’ll sell some of my artwork this year,” lack specificity, timeline, measurability, and commitment and therefore, do raise my eyebrows in suspicion and doubt.   In fact, in most cases, they probably do set us up for failure.

Moreover, what’s truly missing from a laundry list of resolutions that sound ambiguous (”I’ll read the classics this year”; “I’ll call my mom more often”) is a sense of relevance:

What is really important about this action/habit/new behavior?

What’s it for?

What will be different about my life when I commit to making this change?

Setting our Grinch hats aside for a moment, let’s consider this: we can’t stop growing and changing. New behaviors — even tiny ones — that result from an internal shift are enormously impactful.  And, focused intentions set the stage for new behaviors.  When we make the effort to set an intention or commit to an action that is specific, measureable, time-bound, and relevant to what we value, there’s no greater gift we can give ourselves.

It’s a new year…a new decade…clean slate!  I figure, it is a pretty nice time to turn over a [snow-covered] leaf or two…get going on a fresh project…restart and old, great habit…take a risk on something exciting.  Why not take a look at the year that’s past and see what there is to celebrate, mourn, or just plain acknowledge?  What have you learned?  What’s important to you now?  What do you really value these days?  And, what’s moving in you to start anew?

ready, set, go!

CHALLENGE:

Start a New Action on January 1st and Do It for 30 Days.

2 weeks ago, when I posted the final Radical Idea for managing your time — to get in the habit of things — I revealed that if you do something for 30 days, you’ll always do it.   My friends, January 1 is the day to start a 30-day challenge. Choose something in your life that you’d like to become a habit – OR – just give yourself a juicy challenge and see if you can do it.  Then, make yourself a simple chart, or even easier, mark it off in your daily planner with a check-mark or a small note.  You’ve got a day and 1/2 to decide –  what will it be?